The Mummy's Kiss (2003)

3000 years ago an Egyptian sorceress was buried alive for indulging forbidden pleasures of the flesh. Reincarnated in modern-day Los Angeles she is on a mission to track down the reincarnation of her ancient lost love.

Ana Harwa (Sasha Peralto) is a Whemple University student. She's checking in to the museum archives.

Ana works with Professor Carter Moore (George Thomas) and Tina Kim (Aysia Lee) to unveil an ancient mummy.

Staring at the sarcophagus, Ana becomes transfixed as if under a spell.

Ana is suddenly transported back to the days of Ancient Egypt where she is waited on by two topless handmaidens (Nicolette Lupian and Joleen Thornton).

The handmaidens remove Ana's top.

Ana sees someone approach.

Hor-Shep-Sut (Mia Zottoli) enters the tent. In this lifteime, Ana is Princess Hat-Em-Akhet.

Hor-Shep-Sut removes her brazier.

Hor-Shep-Sut and Princess Hat-Em-Akhet are lovers.

Ana/The Princess has the remainder of her clothing removed and they have sex.

Back to present day at the museum - Professor Carter Moore helps Ana off the floor. She had fainted.

Three students, Shiva (Rhoda Jordan), Carrie (Elina Madison) and Jeannette (Rosalyn Macie) are attracted to Professor Moore. Shiva askes if they think he'll notice her in her new outfit. Carrie says, "If he doesn't he's either blind or gay."

Ana goes to see her uncle to gather more information on the mummy.

Dr. Wallis Harwa (Richard Lynch) gives Ana some information on the mummy's history.

Professor Carter Moore and Tina Kim are alone in the classroom. Tina has a thing for him, but Carter seems oblvlivious.

Back at the archives the mummy awakens and attacks the security guards.

Shiva, Carrie and Jeannette are still pining over Professor Moore.

Ana reviews the reading material provided by her uncle. She gets the news from Professor Moore that the archives have been robbed; the Egyptian collection is gone.

In an abandoned theater, the mummy Ramsay Amun assumes the form of the beautiful Hor-Shep-Sut from her previous life and approaches a statue to summon Osiris and Isis.

Isis (Katie Lohmann) appears. Isis and Osiris (Arthur Roberts) tell Ramsay that, in order to be reunited with her Princess, she must steal the Ka of young women through a kiss.

Back at the university, Professor Moore has difficulty teaching when his front row is busy lusting after him. Yvonne (April Flowers) and Helena (Regina Russell Banali) in particular.

Ana stays after class.

Ana is introduced to a new student - Ms. Amun. Of course this is actually Hor-Shep-Sut, now using the name Ramsay Amun. She is pleased to have located the body where the soul of her true love Princess Hat-Em-Akhet is located - Ana.

With Ana and Amon gone, Helena and Yvonne return to class to flirt with Professor Moore.

The girls lock the door and show him their boobs.

Tina knocks on the door, and the girls hurredly put their tops back on.

That evening, Helena and Yvonne are having to do homework at their apartment.

They've been drinking a lot of wine and feel they deserve a study break.

The girls can't believe their eyes. Suddenly a completely nude woman appears in their room. It's Ramsay Amun and she summons them to her.

Helena and Yvonne, both completely naked, are compelled to walk to Amun as if under a spell.

Amun tells the girls she wants their Kas - and they have not idea what she means.

Amun kisses Helena and sucks the Ka out of her. Helena passes out.

Amun then sucks out Yvonne's Ka and she passes out.

Dr. Wallis Harwa gives Moore a history lesson - describing the relationship between Hor-Shep-Sut, the sorceress, and Princess Hat-Em-Akhet.

Their relationship wouldn't be tolerated by the pharaoh. Hor-Shep-Sut is pulled away from the pricess. She is tortured and killed - her heart removed and her body put in the sarcophagus.

Back to present day. At the abandoned theater, Yvonne and Helena are under the spell of Amun and serving as her handmaidens. The security guard is also under control. Amun consults with Osiris and Isis for her next move.

, Jeannette, Carrie and Shiva are disappointed to learn that Tina will be substituting for Professor Moore today.

The girls are able to track the professor down and corner him in the hallway.

Shiva pulls down her top.

Carrie is next.

Moore rejects all three and tells them to put their tops back on.

The girls are left standing there embarassed. They meekly put their tops back on.

Ana is drawn to the abandoned theater where she finds Helena and Yvonne. She asks why they're wearing funny costumes.

The girls grab Ana and present her to Hor-Shep-Sut.

Ana's clothes are removed and she's put under a spell.

Ana and Hor-Shep-Sut have sex.

Hor-Shep-Sut is about to cut out Ana's heart when Professor Moore and Tina arrive in the nick of time.

Tina saves the day by taking the bladed mask off the statue and placing it on Hor-Shep-Sut, destroying her once and for all.

Even though Tina did all the work and Moore didn't do shit, he gets to be the savior for Ana. THE END

VZ6 SCORECARD

Softcore late night cable movies are elevated when they bring in the monsters.  So many Cinemax films were just a thousand different love triangles and Basic Instinct ripoffs. But when they got into the monster movie genre (and still retained the T&A) I was all in. Admittedly, this film gets a bit tedious with multiple flashbacks and an overdone backstory (requiring lots of exposition from Richard Lynch), but it still delivers.

Mia Zottoli was engaged to Thomas Hayden Church, who I primarily know from Wings.  They had a child but broke up.  Zottoli isn't the only actress to have a semi-famous partner.  Regina Russell Banali was married to a member of Quiet Riot.

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆ 7/10