The Dicktator (1974)

(It says 1977, but this film is dated as 1974 - this is just a later print.) BACKSTORY: With the birth rate spinning out of control, a team of American scientists create a male birth control pill that will make its users sterile for two years. However, after all the major nations of the world have mandated its use, it's discovered that there is a flaw in the formula, and now the vast majority of the Earth's male population are permanently incapable of fathering children. Now, there is rioting in the streets across the globe.

The POTUS (you don't see his face), gets on the hot line (hence the oven-mit) to speak with leaders around the world. He invites each to come to DC to work out this global catastrophe.

The POTUS talks with the Russian President (Walt Davis) who is being serviced by two women. The brunette is Angela Carnon.

The president contacts six different countries - with each ruler being pleasured while on the phone. The French President (Keith Erickson) is getting it on with Nicolle Riddell.

The French President struggles to carry on the coversation while fooling around with the woman.

Next, the president speaks with the Prime Minister (Michael Donovan O'Donnell). The Prime Minister's tart is played by Cyndee Summers.

The tart has cookies on her nipples and makes it difficult for the politician to speak with the president.

Maria Pesson (Gretchen Rudolph) is the last leader to speak with the president. It's not said directly which country she's the leader of. There's mention of Chile, but later she's next to the El Salvador flag.

Maria is being serviced by a midget (Armando Federico).

She just randomly shoots the midget.

The international meeting commences. The POTUS has a plan: he will use intelligence agents to ferret out the few individuals from around the world who failed to take the pill. These individuals will henceforth be called "Dicktators". The agents will then pair up the Dicktators with beautiful women to carry on the human species.

Maria Pesson leaps onto the table, exposes her breasts and shouts "Viva la revolución!"

She beseeches the president, telling him her breasts were meant to nourish babies. The population must continue - he must succeed!

And so, we are now taken to the location of the first Dicktator. He is a gay Jewish man (Johnny Fain) who never took the pill. The Jewish Dicktator meets with his assigned woman (Linda York).

The gay man has difficulty getting it on with his assigned woman. He puts on women's clothing and she does her job.

On to the next Dicktator...He's an Asian potentate (Jess Ramos) who gets not one but two women (Kathy Hilton and Mara Sonara).

Kathy Hilton disrobes first.

The potentate instructs them to rub oil on each other.

Hilton fondles herself watching them have sex.

The next Dicktator is a shepherd from the Andes (Franco Goya) and his assigned partner is Carmencita (Rene Bond).

The problem is, he's a poor shepherd and doesn't understand women. He can't get it up no matter how hard Carmencita tries.

Nothing works until finally, by imitating a sheep, she's able to get the boy going.

The next Dicktator is a jailed Russian writer (Ron Kory) who's released from prison to spend the night with Uschi Digard.

In the next scene, when find the American Dicktator assigned to a Mae West character named Lilly Tweety (Ann Perry) wearing a silver wig with feather boa.

Lilly Tweety has been assigned to service the Dicktator, so she throws herself at him.

But after much effort, she finds out he's just a door to door salesman. The final Dicktator is an American exchange student in Africa (Paul Daniels) who has an unfortunate encounter with a widow (Yolanda Beckham). THE END

VZ6 SCORECARD

THE GOOD - A ton of nudity by familiar faces we know and love from early seventies sexploitation.

THE BAD - Let's first talk about the ending. It's not funny, and rather depressing. Why would this film, which has been a silly mess from the beginning, suddenly try to be dramatic? I don't get it.  Also, as you might have gathered, the humor is pretty awful (although a few moments are funny).  Movies from the sixties into the early seventies would often go for the Laugh-In approach to humor: madcap silliness in lieu of real comedy.

While this film is full of the usual crew of sexploitation hotties (Uschi, Rene Bond, Linda York, Anne Perry, Kathy Hilton), the standout for me is Gretchen Rudolph.  She goes all in with this role and is genuinely hilarious and extremely sexy. She started in film in the mid-sixties; this was one of her last films. She was born and died in Kansas.

☆☆☆☆☆☆ 6/10