Pretty Cool (2000)

A Rolfe Kanefsky jam which spoofs on dozens of classic teen movies - primarily Zapped and Weird Science. The uncut/alternate version was called Emmanuelle Pie - and that's the one we'll cover here. The "normal" version has some different scenes and is put together a lot better - but is obviously less sleazy than the Emmanuelle version. Also, there seems to be a variety of release dates depending on where you look. The credits list a 2000 copyright.

Howard (Will Burke) is a teenage loser - he does poorly at school and can't get a girl to save his life. is awakened by his mean sister Paula (Amy Brassette).

Paula reminds him that it's his graduation, and he's going to be late.

Howard runs frantically to the graduation ceremony, running straight into his dream girl, Tiffany (Alexis Thorpe).

Howard learns that he won't actually graduate and will have to go to summer school. So he breaks into the principal's office to change his grades. But something happens when he taps into the network.

Miles away, the government is doing top secret experimental projects involving mind reading, mind control and switching minds completely. Somehow the wires have crossed and Howard has been endowed with this power.

Mrs. Parker (Cecilia Bergqvist) enters the office and catches Howard red-handed.

She lectures him, and Howard can somehow hear her thoughts - thoughts that she wants him to be severely punished.

Mrs. Parker doesn't understand why she's suddenly overcome with lustful urges. She starts rubbing herself with a yardstick.

Wilford the janitor (Robert Donavan) stumbles into the office and can't believe what he's seeing.

Howard hides under the desk. Mrs. Parker rips off Wilford's shirt and throws him onto the desk, then jumps on top of him.

Wilford yells, "Mrs. Parker, you're scaring me!"

"Holy moley! Mrs. Parker, what's gotten into you? You're gonna rip my new overalls!"

Howard is still stuck hiding under the desk, and missing his graduation.

Mrs. Parker goes hysterically orgasmic, as if in extreme pain.

Howard makes the decision to make a break for it and sneaks out of the room.

Mrs. Perkins (Holly Sampson) arrives on Rockford campus as the summer school teacher. She is actually an undercover FBI agent dispatched to investigate the secret project's inadvertent "wire crossing" with this high school. Her mission is to close the gap and return things to normal.

She goes to the principal's office and finds the computer where the incident occurred.

Howard returns home and is greeted by his sister Paula and her two friends. She smugly tells him she knows that he didn't graduate. They mockingly clap for him.

Paula tells him she's already informed mom and dad and he's in big trouble. She mocks him for failing history class.

Her friend Stacy (Summer Altice) laughs at Paula's bullying.

Bambi (Cindy Campbell) also finds this amusing.

Thanks to Howard's new powers (which he hasn't even realized yet), Pauline suddenly is overcome with uncontrollable farting and she runs to the bathroom.

While Pauline is in the bathroom, Howard's powers continue to take effect as Bambi and Stacy get in the hot tub with him and take their bikini tops off.

While Howard goes to town on Stacy, Bambi has an orgasm all on her own.

Stacy asks Howard if she can have an orgasm too.

Howard uses his powers to their fullest extent and says he'll give Stacy the biggest orgasm of her life.

Stacy becomes overcome with ecstacy and moans and thrashes wildly in the hot tub.

She leans back and reaches climax.

Meanwhile on campus, Mrs. Perkins uses a special device (a headband with a heartshaped ornament) to connect with Howard. She doesn't realize that Howard is in the midst of having sex with Bambi and Stacy - so Perkins is also caught up in the ecstacy.

Mrs. Perkins is soon masturbating on her classroom desk.

That night Howard dreams about Tiffany.

In a scene reminiscent of Risky Business, Howard dreams he's holding Tiffany by blowing curtains.

Tiffany is somehow also having the same dream.

The next day, Howard is drooling over Mrs. Perkins his summer school American History teacher.

Mitch the jock (Jake Waldinger) pushes Howard out of the way so he can have a front row seat. However, Howard is no longer a hapless weakling. He uses his new powers on the bully.

Suddenly time seems to stop except for Mitch - and Mrs. Perkins is compelled to hit on him.

Mrs. Perkins takes off all her clothes and jumps on Mitch.

They have sex. Howard then snaps them out of it - and Mitch is embarassed at having a boner in front of the whole class.

Howard tells Chuck (Gerard Karsenty) about his special powers. He also swiped Mrs. Perkins' necklace and headband, each with a heart shaped ornament.

They see four cheerleaders practicing on the schoolyard and Mitch suggests they use the heart-shaped device and Howard's powers on them. Howard is resistant but goes along with it.

The cheerleaders head to the locker room and Howard turns Chuck invisible.

Chuck is ready to curl into a ball when the four cheerleaders enter the locker room from the shower. But then he realizes Howard wasn't lying - they really can't see him!

Becky (Brandy Miller) towels off. Chuck has an idea to test something out. He touches the butt of Crystal (Darby Daniels). She can feel it, but can't see him.

Check then grabs Debbie (Sandy Wasko) from behind. She squeals and doesn't understand what happened.

Debbie asks what happened, but the other cheerleaders are as confused as she is.

Chuck kicks things up a notch as he proceeds to basically molest Debbie who is suddenly overwhelmed.

Crystal comes over to check on what's gotten into Debbie who is now howling with pleasure.

Crystal and Samantha (Stacy Burke) just laugh at the situation.

Crystal gets frisky seeing Debbie so hot and bothered.

With Crystal and Debbie going at it, Samantha towels off alone.... at least until Chuck takes his turn with her.

Becky wonders what the hell has gotten into everybody.

Becky suddenly finds herself in the same situation - thrust up against a locker in a state of ecstacy.

Things have gotten out of control - with Crystal and Debbie going at it, and now both Samantha and Becky uncontrollably aroused.

Becky finally snaps out of it. She sees the other girls still going at it, and just shakes her head and goes to her locker ready to leave.

But then it starts back up again as Becky is whipped around and pleasured from behind.

But there's a problem. Howard's heart-headband short circuits and Chuck is suddenly visible.

The cheerleaders register what's going on and attack Chuck.

Wilford the janitor finds the heart-shaped necklace on the locker room floor (where Howard dropped it after it short circuited).

Wilford gives Mrs. Parker the necklace. She wears it, but wants nothing to do with the janitor.

Chuck wears the heart shaped "mind swapper" headband which allows him to enter the body of Mrs. Parker who is wearing the connected necklace. Mrs. Parker is at a dive bar when Chuck takes over her body. She runs into the bathroom.

She hides in a bathroom stall and tears off her clothing - all under the control of Chuck wearing the headband.

With Chuck at the wheel, so to speak, he has Mrs. Parker fondle herself.

Mrs. Parker's loud moaning and groaning creates a stir at the bar. Eventually, someone opens the stall and finds her.

Chuck now understands the power of the necklace and headband. He wants to try the mind swap with Howard's sister Pauline.

Pauline says, "Why don't you wear the necklace and I wear the headband?" Chuck agrees and puts the headband on Pauline.

However, Chuck gets distracted by Tiffany and the necklace ends up in the paws of Tiffany's cat.

Chuck rushes upstairs to take the headband away from Pauline but it's too late. The cat has swapped minds with Pauline and she attacks, clawing at him.

Chuck runs for his life. Pauline starts clawing at the door and meowing.

As the cat rolls around in the grass, Pauline does the same in Howard's bedroom.

As the cat rubs herself and scratches against a fence, Pauline grinds similarly on the corner of the bed.

Pauline is literally in heat. She takes off her top and starts madly dry humping the mattress and meowing.

She takes off her skirt and continues to meow and grind away on Howard's bed.

Chuck is frantically running through the neighborhood in search of the cat. Pauline starts humping the floor.

And the leg of Howard's desk.

Ms. Perkins and Howard arrive and find Chuck with his clothes in tatters (from Pauline's clawing). He explains the dire situation. The race up to his room and find that Pauline has escaped.

Pauline shows up at a bar ready to have sex with any guy who's willing. She speaks only in meows and pulls a guy into the restroom.

"Meeeoooowww!"

Out in the bar area glasses shatter at the sound of the high pitched meows. Customers are alarmed at what's going on in the bathroom.

And it keeps going - with no sign of slowing down anytime soon.

Tiffany and Howard find the cat with the necklace around its neck. This finally puts an end to Pauline's traumatic experience.

Ms. Perkins takes back the necklace and headband. Poor Pauline goes to the bar and orders something strong. THE END

VZ6 SCORECARD

This is one of the best sex comedies ever made... but it's not perfect.  First, you have to differentiate Pretty Cool from Emmanuelle Pie.  Pretty Cool is put together better and tells its story a lot more coherently with more humor.  But the Emmanuelle Pie version has significantly more sex and nudity.  I am going to cheat and combine the two and give it ten stars.  

This film has all the things you want in a trashy teen comedy - naked teachers, hot tub girls, locker rooms, and an ending that is too sleazy and insane for words.  The sex and nudity is all so creatively done, and the energy is full throttle from start to finish. Magnifique.

Cecilia Bergqvist started out on Swedish TV then found her way into a handful of B-movies in the US. Bergqvis provides quite an exhuberant sex scene as she's under mind control wildly humping the janitor, then later masturbating in a bathroom stall.

Summer Altice played volleyball in high school and then signed to San Diego State in 1997 to their women's volleyball team. In 2000 several newspapers and magazines reported that Summer was the reason Helen Hunt separated from husband Hank Azaria. I have to say I was pretty damn surprised when Summer Altice's character leans back in the hot tub and her crotch is pointed directly at the camera.  A rather graphic view that came as a surprise.

This was the first film for Brandy Miller. She was in a several more similar B-movies for the next couple years including Dead Sexy (2001) and The Breed (2001). Brandy graduated from The Los Angeles Film School in 2012. 

Amy Brassette was in the "Reno 911" pilot and was a series regular on "Cedric the Entertainer Presents" on Fox.  Since then she's worked fairly regularly - a Hallmark movie called "A Christmas Wish" in 2019, a small part on "True Detective", a voice acting role on "Duck Dodgers" and so on.  But ho-lee-shit none of that could compare to the climactic scene in this movie.  Butt naked and going nuts as a cat in heat!  It's just incredible to me that she would do this scene.  If this isn't a Hall of Fame nude scene then nothing is. 

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆ 10/10