Agítese antes de usarla (1983)

(AKA Shake Before Use) Spanish comedy starring Andrés Pajares and Fernando Esteso fake it as surgeons who happen upon a suitcase full of mob money.

A man and woman (Lucía Peralta) crawl from the wreckage of an automobile accident.

The accident has left them injured and with clothes in tatters.

They're in luck. Here comes an ambulance.

Fabricio (Fernando Esteso) is one of the EMTs... and he can't stop staring at the woman's boob hanging out of her torn bra.

Fabricio is more than happy to help Lucía Peralta to the ambulance.

The husband and wife note which hospital this is going to and decide it's best to not go at all. They thank them for the help and get the hell out of there.

Now we go to the hospital.

We meet some of the staff: Dr. Roberto Branquia (Antonio Ozores) and Nurse Lucrecia (Jenny Llada)

Dr. Flodio (Alfonso del Real) and Doctor Paquita (Beatriz Escudero). They discuss the arrival of a famous figure who will admitted for surgery at their clinic. Their civil discussion quickly turns into angry brawl.

Fabricio (Fernando Esteso) and Argimiro (Andrés Pajares) are not real doctors. They find themselves examining a patient (Alicia Príncipe).

She pulls down her top to show them a cut she has on her left breast.

Argimiro sees blood and starts to get dizzy. He can't handle the sight of it without passing out.

Argimiro hits the floor and they rush to his aid.

Argimiro is hoisted back up and they awkwardly grab a seat on the examination table.

The next few minutes are spent fumbling and being awkward around her exposed breasts.

They start to get particularly grabby, but are interrupted by the arrival of a real doctor, Dr. Branquia.

Fabricio and Argimiro, of course, have a reasonable explanation for this compromising position.

Nurse Lucrecia introduces Diputado Francisco Granja (Juanito Navarro) - the reason for the crowds and mayhem at the hospital. He's here for a simple thumb surgery.

Nurse Rosa (Nadine Rochex) strolls down the hall, as men fall behind her.

She has sex with Fabricio in a dark surgery room. The lights are suddenly turned on, and a surgery team enters, pulling the sheets off the operating table.

Argimiro pretends to be blind so he can ogle the topless girls on the beach. He meets a topless sunbather named Elisa (Andrea Albani).

Even mentioning blood makes Argimiro swoon.

Of course, Argimiro uses this supposed weakness to his full advantage.

This guy (Julio Riscal) is here to kick Fabricio's ass for messing with his girlfriend Lucinda (María Bauza). Chaos erupts as Fabricio tries to escape his wrath.

Uh oh. Fabricio and Argimiro are at the beach when Elisa spots three goons out to get them.

The three goons are hilariously of three sizes.

Elisa has a plan.

She takes off her bikini top.

Argimiro objects - preferring his new girlfriend to be covered up. Elisa explains it's to distract the three goons so they can escape. Fabricio of course thinks it's a perfect plan.

Dr. Branquia (Antonio Ozores) and Nurse Lucrecia check on Francisco Granja after his thumb operation.

The doctor and nurse can't keep their hands off each other. Even right in front of the patient, they can't control themselves.

Lucretia pretends she's popped a button on her uniform. With her top unbuttoned she gets on the floor to look for it. Dr. Branquia goes down there "to help".

The goons are after Argimiro and Fabricio because they stumbled upon a suitcase full of money. It turns out that Elisa is actually working with them.

The goons finally catch up to them and beat their ass. They are running out of time. Fabricio drives Argimiro to the gym.

They stroll inside and find this is a nude gym. Everyone is working out completely naked.

Unfortunately, Lucinda (María Bauza) and her jealous boyfriend are also here. And he still wants to kick Fabricio's ass.

Once again Fabricio pretends to be gay. But the boyfriend isn't buying it.

The argument starts to create a scene. A crowd begins to gather.

Among those gathered are the mayor (Fabián Conde) and his wife (Rosa Suances).

As the fight intensifies and the crowd gets rowdy, Argimiro slips away with Lucinda to safety.

Later, Argimiro hides their stash of money in Francisco Granja's cast. He doesn't realize Doctor Paquita (Beatriz Escudero) is in the room with him. She has the hots for Argimiro and takes off her clothes.

Of course this isn't the most convenient time for Argimiro who happens to be holding a cast full of money from the suitcase.

Things escalate into so many layers of chaos at the hospital that I can't even begin to describe. Paquita, Argimiro and Fabricio run headlong into one insane situation after another as things come to a head.

Paquita, Argimiro and Fabricio push Francisco Granja - but have to evade the goons and end up crashing his stretcher in a huge collision.

Dr. Branquia and Nurse Lucrecia run into Elisa and the three goons. The little goon is accidentally stuck with the doctor's syringe.

Fifteen minutes of straight chaos. Paquita, Argimiro and Fabricio push Granja frantically through the hospital, knocking over pregnant women and all manner of mahem. They finally land in a room where they use the patients in stretchers to barricade them from the rapidly approaching Elisa and goons.

Elisa and the goons stumble over the patient barrier with Paquita stuck in the middle.

Paquita finds that her lab coat is caught. She desperately struggles to break free.

The patients watch in amazement as the doctor hysterically tries to come loose from her caught lab coat.

Paquita realizes she's screwed. And the elderly patients suddenly converge on her in a blitz of mad lust.

Amid the skirmish, one of the goons is injured. Lucrecia tries to help him.

Dr. Branquia won't all that to happen. He pulls up her uniform and gives her a shot in the butt with his hypodermic needle.

In the end, Fabricio and Argimiro (and Nurse Rosa) finally end up with the money.

Hilariously, they jump into a getaway car thinking it's a taxi. But they've mistakenly hopped right into the police car. THE END

VZ6 SCORECARD

Andrés Pajares and Fernando Esteso are among my favorite comedy duos of all time.  They rank up there with other hall of fame duos such as Gene Wilder and Richard Pryor and Alberto Olmedo and Jorge Porcel. This is at the height of their powers; pure comedy gold.  One thing I don't love about this film - and this is a trap comedies often fall into - is they feel the last act has to be climactic chaos.  Nowhere is this better illustrated than in The Party starring Peter Sellers.  Three quarters of the film is relatively subtle comic genius, ruined by the mayhem of the last act (involving an elephant!). Pretty much every Pajares and Esteso flick ends with this swirling madness and it gets to be a bit much.  I understand you want to see how their comedy of errors has managed to escalate things, but c'mon.  

 

How insane is it that Pajares and Esteso wander into an all-nude gym?  This is the beauty of these films.  They're so silly, we don't even care.  It's like peanut butter and chocolate - comedy gold plus gratuitous nudity.  Quite a nice view of Rosa Suances and an unidentified actress on a stationary bike.

Speaking of gratuitous nude scenes, it's hard to beat Beatriz Escudero's wardrobe malfunction.  This is absolutely nuts.  Her lab coat gets caught between the patients' beds and she ends up completely naked (aside from a pair of sheer panties).  

María Bauza delivers some outstanding FFN in the gym scene.  When we first meet her with her jealous boyfriend we don't realize we'll see her again later in the film completely sans clothes - and in a very long well-lit scene.

Andrea Albani (who was a regular in the Spanish destape films of the day) delivers two great boob scenes.  First sunbathing topless then later as supposed distraction to save Fabricio and Argimiro.

There were a number of films where someone poses as a doctor uses the opportunity to see a woman's boobs - perhaps most notably in Screwballs.  This scene featuring Alicia Príncipe is identical to many played out by Alberto Olmedo and Jorge Porcel, particularly Surgeons Go Hand In Hand (1980) 

I find the intro scene with Lucía Peralta as one of the best examples of a wardrobe malfunction I've ever scene.  It'\s so outrageous; the way Fabricio reacts to her boob exposure is so hilariously inappropriate. I was dying.

So, I spent a lot of space complaining about the overboard last act, but overall this is a total banger.  Andrés Pajares and Fernando Esteso are at the top of their game; one of the best examples of the destape comedies featuring this genius comedy duo.  Add in lots of over-the-top gratuitous nudity and you've got yourself a great watch.  The world needs films like this these days.  

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆ 8/10